On Tuesday, my mother told me Deema was having a party on Wednesday for becoming imhajbi¹ and that I had to go. I said okay and went on with my business for the rest of that day.
The next day, I went to school as usual, and stayed after for soccer tryouts. I think I did well; at least I wasn’t called off the field. Did you know Latina girls are incredibly good at soccer? One girl said she plays defense, but Mrs. Gerber placed her as a forward and she played extremely well. There was also another Latina girl trying out, but when I was on the field, I didn’t see her play much. However, what struck me was that she has amazing legs. In fact many Latina girls do. I don’t know why so many people look so good in one way or the other, but in my experience, I can confidently say Latina girls are blessed with beautiful legs.
After soccer practice, I commuted back to Aramco by bus, and my mom picked me up from the bus stop at the elementary school. It’s always such a long bus ride, and I abhor walking home afterwards without someone walking with me. When I got home, I prayed Asr², took a shower, and prepared to go to Deema’s party. By the time I had completed that, it had become time for Mughrib², and so I prayed again before leaving the house with my mom.
We arrived at Deema’s house and it was relatively empty of guests (and to think that we thought we were going to be late!). When we walked into the room, it was noticeably different from usual. Chairs lined the edges of the room, and every here and there was a small coffee table just large enough for use by two people. After being greeted by everyone and walking further into the room, I could see that the side room on the right was relatively normal compared to how it usually looked like. Looking out of the windows, I saw that there were many dinner tables and chairs, covered by elaborate tablecloths and chair covers.
I went and sat in the side room upon seeing my somewhat estranged friend, (I assure you, it’s not that we are on bad terms with each other, rather it is only that we don’t see each other very often) Negwa, understanding that this was where we ‘young people’ were meant to sit.
“Did you see those tables outside?” I exclaimed, “It’s like déjà vu! Remember that other party we went to so long ago?”
“I know!” she replied giddily, “Look how many people are coming! It’s like all the important dars ed din³ teachers from Khobar are coming.”
I looked back at the main room. In the time it had taken to survey the two rooms, and have that short dialogue with my friend, the main room had filled up. Not just filled up with anyone either, Negwa was right, I could recognize many of the faces of the wisest and most prudent dars ed din teachers. Maybe I didn’t know many of theirs names, sure, but everyone recognizes them for who they are.
More and more people kept arriving; all females of course, after all, this was a party to celebrate a girl’s choice in following God’s orders to cover her beauty in the presence of men. Many were familiar faces, but there were several whom I’d never seen before.
Once everyone, or seemingly everyone, had arrived, those of us who were seated in the side room were beckoned into the main room. We took our seats on the floor and as if on queue, the music began. Don’t get me wrong here, this being a religious party, the music was in Arabic and about our religion; it wasn’t as if we put in a CD and started dancing as if it were a meaningless party. This party was more of a traditional religious custom. One of the old ladies started playing a daf drum and singing, and soon many joined in. My first language is not Arabic, but I was able to recognize one of the songs and its meaning: the main message was ‘congratulations on becoming imhajbi’.
Afterwards, the dars ed din that can be expected at any religious gathering of this sort started. The topic of the lecture was the importance of the hijabª and how it is important for us, as a religious group to be better Muslims, and as female Muslims to seek guidance from the Qur’an, specifically from surat An-Noor°, which details God’s requirements for all women.
The woman giving the lecture, Im Abdel Aziz, was a very eloquent speaker. Two of the anecdotes she used really made me reflect on things. Her first anecdote was about a girl who was just newly wed, wearing clothing that showed a lot of her skin and was taken to the mosque by her husband. Im Abdel Aziz continued, “At the mosque, the girl was stopped by an old lady. ‘Get away from here!’ she shouted at the girl, ‘You are the devil, here to seduce our men, and coax our women to stray from the right path!’ The girl asked the old lady why she was calling her the devil. Then the old lady said ‘How can you be so beautiful and not be the devil here to tempt us? Be gone from here.’ Then the girl went and swore to herself that she would become imhajbi and show the old lady that she wasn’t the devil.” Immediately following this anecdote, Im Abdel Aziz animatedly laughed that if she had been in that situation, her reaction would have probably been the complete opposite.
She proceeded to tell us another anecdote about a similar experience she had when she was younger, except it wasn’t as extreme a situation. “When I was very young, around your age, I was not imhajbi; I was very interested in clothes, and wore the type that revealed a lot of skin. One day, I called my friend, who was imhajbi, and asked her if she wanted to go to the mall with me. She said ‘okay, but first will you come to dars ed din with me?’ I said sure and we went. That day, I was wearing shorts, and when I sat in the class, the dars ed din teacher was disgusted by my display.
She didn’t rudely tell me to cover my legs though. She told the girls to give me a hijab to cover my legs. So, my friend covered my legs with a hijab. I was sitting there wondering, why is she giving me this hijab? then I would give my friend back her hijab, and again she would cover my legs for me. The teacher never told me herself to cover my legs, if she did, I probably would have stormed out of the class and never went back. But thank God she didn’t, and today, Alhamdulillah*, I am imhajbi and have been led to the right path.”
There is something about dars ed din teachers that when they speak about the Islamic way of life, it just moves me; their lectures are just so poignant and devoid of spuriousness. There is something in their manner  that allows them to create didactic speeches with eloquence, which contain so much information in such a format that the statements become incontrovertible.   At some points during Im Abdel Aziz’s lecture, I was almost moved to tears. As I looked around the room, I saw that some of the ladies were actually crying. Religion is such an emotional and touchy subject.
After the lecture, everyone went outside to eat and enjoy the rest of the evening. It was nice out, with the cool air flowing through the branches. I sat with Deema, Noor, Nahla, and another girl newly engaged, despite her young age of 18. Overall, it was quite the merry event, the conversation spanning topics such as future plans, engagements, Cairo, and AP Lang homework.
When all was done and over with, people started taking their leave, saying good bye, and wishing well for Deema and her family. My mother an I were one of the last groups to leave. There was hugging, and many See you on Saturday’s floating through the air.
Once my mom and I were in the car and on our way home, discussion picked up right away.
“Mama, I want to definitely become imhajbi before going off to college.”
“Look Nour, worst case scenario, you put it on when you are in the states.” My mom responded.
“No. It’s done, I’m swearing it.”
“What’s important is not the hijab Nour, what’s important is that you develop the habits. You can’t become a better Muslim just overnight like that. You need to work at it, it happens gradually. I put the hijab on after you were born, but it’s not the hijab that changed me. I developed the habits and then I vowed to be imhajbi. The hijab was just the completion of the circle. Life is like a chain. You make one link at a time, and it takes a while. However, you can’t just skip links and just pretend that nothing is missing. You have to go about your life one link at a time.”
My mother’s metaphor struck me as an awakening. She was totally right. A new plan manifested itself in my mind. “Okay mama, I’m going to take this year then, my seventeenth year of living, and use it to try and become a better person. Not just academically, or socially or any of that. I’m going to go and try to become a better person spiritually.”
“Exactly, that’s exactly what you need to do, and God will guide you.”
“Ameen inshallah˘,” I agreed








¹ To become imhajbi means to start wearing the headscarf in the presence of most males for the rest of your life
² Asr and Mughrib are Islamic prayers. Currently, Asr can be prayed between around 3:00 PM to 5:00 PM and Mughrib can be prayed between around 5:00 PM to 7:00 PM
³ loosely translated, it means religion studies or religion class/lecture
ª headscarf
° A chapter from the Qur’an
* A saying, loosely translated: the health is with God
˘loosely translated: With God’s will